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Day 4: Do Weekends Even Count In This Number?

It is my first weekend being laid off, and I have to say, I can't see a difference from during the week. I assume this is what retirement is like. I'll come back to you all in 80-100 years and let you know.

I am putting off figuring out what I want to do with my life. When I was a kid, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. By the time I was in second grade, I knew I was going to be a meteorologist. When I was in seventh grade, I knew I was going to work at an airport doing flight planning. In 10th grade, I knew what college I was going to go to. As a Senior, I got accepted to that college with a full ride.

By the time I was a Senior in college, I was flailing. I could do the work, although the further along I got in my major the harder it was because I was less invested, but I did it. I majored in the hard sciences with a dual minor, was an RA and worked two other on-campus jobs, and still finished with a 3.39 GPA. I still feel proud of that.

But now I had to figure out what I was going to do with that degree. During my time in college, I had started to lean into the RA role and found that I liked working with people and being creative. I guess what I'm saying is - I knew what I wanted to do until I got more information about myself and what was available to me. Making 18 years olds decide what they're going to do with the rest of their life seems cruel now. I finished that degree because I wasn't going to change my major my senior year when I was months from graduation, but I knew when I graduated I was never going to use that major.

Anyway, I digress. I think if I had to pinpoint this feeling, it feels like it did when I was a Senior in college and I was forcing myself into a path I was fairly certain I wasn't going to use. I am good at Project Management/SAFe/Agile (etc etc etc), but I am afraid to pigeonhole myself. I have so many other interests!

I am passionate about climate change! Maybe I should look for jobs in that industry!

I liked the coworkers I had when I was in higher ed! Maybe I should see what jobs have that kind of camaraderie!

I baked my first ever focaccia yesterday! Maybe I should hone that skill!

A friend of mine told me yesterday that I should make a pros and cons list about my past jobs, and I know she's right. That's what I need. I also still haven't answered any of those questions from the "what do I do next???" lists that I looked up, so I'll get to that this week, too.

Maybe after that, I'll feel a little more grounded. A little more like Senior year of high school, and less like Senior year of college.

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