Adventures in Unemployment

I have started and restarted this post about 83 times now, and nothing seems right. I am over 2025. It was exhausting. As if surgery and being laid off from work wasn't enough (it was, by the way), navigating this through the current political landscape has only magnified the challenges. The lack of work due to the tariffs and an uncertain economic outlook. Needing insurance through the marketplace, only to have the subsidies not renewed for next year. Worrying about unemployment running out in 8 weeks, and trying to figure out how to budget with increasing utility costs and grocery bills. May the memory of 2025 fade and never come back. With that in mind, I have tried to find some things that might increase my luck in 2026. In case you don't know me in real life (or you do, but you are learning something new today), I don't really believe in superstitions or magic. If you think "everything happens for a reason," I say sometimes those reasons are bad decision maki...

I treated today like a snow day from school. If you're in the WNY area, you know that the weather was awful today. Despite having a bachelors in meteorology, I haven't checked the weather across the state, but I think it was awful across all of NYS. Out here, I'm talking wind gusts at nearly 80mph, an unreal amount of rain that froze as the temperature tanked throughout the day, and snow that you can't even measure because it hasn't accumulated at all because of the wind. So I read, played on my phone, watched GBBO, and started a puzzle. A delightful day. But between this and the holidays, I'm reminded of how I felt on the weekends when I was first laid off. I'm feeling guilty for taking some time to relax, or to do things I enjoy, or not be productive. Why would I need time to relax? It's not like I'm even working. Why would I need time to do things I enjoy? It's not like I've made progress on anything productive recently. So much for gettin...

What even is time during the holidays? I didn't post for like, 5 days last week because of being sick and the holiday and then hosting, and now I'm posting only 17 (or so) hours apart. Mostly, I'm just trying to get back into a "daytime" routine with these, so I was either going to have to skip a day, or post them back-to-back at some point. But since the time has been so short, not much has changed. Ok, that's a lie. My office has enough space for me to work at my laptop again, and everything I need to host next year is packed away nicely in its little tote. My SEAP paperwork was submitted, a whole day early, and I ran a load of dishes. Truly, the only thing that hasn't changed is me 😂 I am still in the very comfortable pajamas I was in last night! There is obviously still lots to do, but this is a good start. I'm going to keep an eye on the weather, but I'd like to hit the gym tomorrow morning, finish cleaning around the house, and then get to w...

It is 8pm on the Saturday after Christmas, and I am having the epitome of Girl Dinner right now. My alarm went off at 6am today to get up to get the dogs up and fed so they could go to doggy daycare for the second time this week. Once the dogs were out of the house, I could finish setting up for hosting a family party. We do brunch, which is why we were up so early. It can be a little challenging to get up and moving that early (not just us, but also the families with kids), but everyone was gone by 2pm, which means we could tidy up after, and that everyone has the rest of their days to do whatever. It requires a little bit of prep to make it work, but our house has a great set-up for hosting, and everyone brings really delicious food and a festive attitude where they're just happy to hang out with each other. It's a delight to host, and I'm not just saying that because a lot of my in-laws read my blog! Of course, when I say that we have the rest of the day to do things, wh...

Wow, did I really go a whole weekend without writing a blog? I mean, I guess that's what happens when you're recovering from the flu and celebrating Christmas. Both my husband and I have pretty big families. Our immediate families are pretty small - mine was originally only 4, and now that we're blended, it's 6. My husband's was 5. But now everyone has partners and/or children, so even those events are getting pretty large. And the minute you extend them, they explode. I'm going to get it wrong for both of my in-laws, but I believe they're each one of 5. My dad is the oldest of 8, and my mom was the middle of 7. You just can't host small holidays with this math. Our families both had Christmas parties this weekend, and Saturday was the smaller of the two events with only 15 people. There was wrapping paper everywhere, a lot of mac and cheese, and a lot of very similar gifts for all of the kids. Does that have anything to do with the fact that we gave eve...

I wasn't going to post today. I'm still pretty moody today, and I didn't think everyone needed to read that. I took a second at-home test, and it turns out I have Flu B. I am unsure how this is different than Flu A, or if there are any other flavors of flu out there, but I have the B side. I also didn't get a second interview for that supervisor position I talked about a few days ago, so. You know. Moody. But, my husband and I did our annual holiday tradition tonight (before running to the pharmacy for my Tamiflu). We get hot chocolate and then drive around and look at Christmas lights. Cute, right? Wrong. We judge. Hard. We're looking for aesthetics, not whimsy. Holiday cheer? Only if it has clean lines and a defined color scheme. Why are the lights on your fence different than on your house? Embarrassing. I started this by myself before I met my (now) husband, and I don't know why. I'm sure at some point during grad school, I needed some holiday cheer, and...

I'm feeling a little off today. Not just because I'm still dealing with the congestion from whatever this sickness was from over the weekend, but because I'm still unemployed. I think I just don't know what to do next. I had an interview yesterday for a departmental supervisor at a local store, but it didn't go great. I was very out of practice for the interview, which was a surprise to me, and the interview was weird. It was clear that the interviewer had a script that needed to be read and answered in order. None of my jokes landed, and they were funny. I'm funny! Or at least witty. And when I asked some follow-up questions about one of their questions, they didn't have an answer for me. It made me question if I even want this job, and that's the first time that's happened so far this job search. I've also only had 4 interviews (out of 80+ applications), so I guess I haven't had a lot of say in what position is right for me. Today, I was, a...

This morning as I was shampooing (where, as you may recall, is where I do my best thinking), I thought about one topic to write about. Now I'm here at the end of my day, and I want to talk about the bread I made. I haven't tried it yet. I haven't cut into it yet. It could be under proofed (proved?) and tasteless and under baked. But it looks like bread! So I'll try it later! Yes, it is Paul Hollywood's white sandwich bread recipe. And yes, I tapped on the bottom to check if it was hollow. Anyway, what I actually wanted to talk about was something on my Threads algorithm. It was an argument that technology is what has made us lonlier as a people and country. It was a Thread that was like, 15 or 19 posts, which I argue is too many  posts for Threads, and it started in the 1950s or so with the dawn of TV. Wait, I'm doing a poor job of explaining this. I don't remember when it started. My point is that it told a story. It went from radio to TV to ans...

In 2012, I had bronchitis for Thanksgiving. If you are trying to figure out why I know this, it's mostly because I was in grad school at the time, and it really threw off my whole groove. [insert Emperor's New Groove quotes here] In the fall of 2012, everything I was doing involved the public, the grossest of all people. I was getting ready to student teach in the spring semester, so I was doing observations in a public middle school or high school probably 3 times a week and breathing in kid germs the entire time I was there. I was still taking 3ish grad classes on-campus, where there were free-range college kids sharing their germs with everyone they came into contact with. It didn't help that all of my friends still lived and worked on-campus, so they shared the germs they were exposed to whenever I saw them. And, last but not least, I was working part-time with the public at the Buffalo Museum of Science, leading tour groups, cleaning up work benches after families move...

Last week, at my 56th networking event of the month, I met a recruiter that I somehow hadn't met before. I'm going to be honest, I thought I had talked to every staffing agency in the area at this point, but apparently not. Anyway, he asked me, "So what's your elevator pitch?" And with all the eloquence I could muster at 8:30am, I said "Um, me?" Of course he was talking to me. We had just met, and there was only one other person in our vicinity, but I was unprepared. Despite the fact that I've been job searching for 114 days, I don't have my elevator pitch ready. I've only really ever thought to have elevator pitches ready for projects I'm on for when management asks what I'm working on, and I've never had one ready for myself. So, I've been thinking. Here are a bunch of elevator pitches for myself. Pick the one you need for right now. Most recently, I was a Scrum Master, and I loved it. I'm a Certified Scrum Master, and a...

I went to a networking event this morning. It was honestly lovely. I met so many nice women in the tech space, and got to check out a newer coffee place in Buffalo. I connected with many of the people I met on LinkedIn, so if you're reading this today, hello! It was nice to meet you! That said, I mean no disrespect when I say that the highlight of the morning was the dessert we were passing off as breakfast. The owner of the cafe, who herself used to work in corporate before quitting and opening this amazing space, had chocolate chip cookies and rice crispy treats. But not just any rice crispy treats. These were peanut butter rice crispy treats with a chocolate-butterscotch ganache on top. And wow. I had 2 this morning, and took 2 more with me because for some reason no one else appreciated the deliciousness of these desserts. Either that or they have more restraint than I do and would rather not have a sugar rush first thing in the morning. I can't stop thinking about these tr...

If you asked my parents about me, they would squarely blame all of my faults on the other one. My mom, Margaret, probably had more of a leg to stand on here. What I suspect was a surprise to most people, I turned out a lot like my dad. There are certainly some benefits to this, like having a great sense of direction and being able to parallel park, but my stubbornness in my 20s was more than Margaret bargained for. Honestly, her fault. My understanding is that it takes two to tango. But my quirks are not strictly one-sided here. Sure, I got Margaret's ability to bake, her delightful handwriting, and a love of playing cards, but the list does not stop there. I also got her lead foot. Her short fuse. An unfortunate love of Country music. And the one that I can't get out of my mind this week - the ability to hold a grudge. I am an expert-level grudge holder. I learned from the best. I learned from Margaret, who learned from Bernadette, who I'm sure learned from the women befor...

If you apply to enough jobs, you'll get a lot of rejections. If you have, theoretically, applied to 76 jobs, hopefully you get no more than 75 rejections. Some of them make sense - that VP role at a bank? Yeah, I probably didn't have the qualifications for that, no matter what their AI chatbot told me. But some of them? Some of them suck. That was an entry-level position for customer service making just above minimum wage. Why aren't I qualified for that? The stupid part is that I am qualified for those positions, and it (hopefully) isn't me. It isn't me, but it still sucks. It's all personal. All of it. From the layoff to the rejections, it's all personal. You can call it a business decision, but your decision impacts a person. Full stop. What I'll say is that I feel like I'm on the right track. I've been attending some webinars for SEAP, and I'm either understanding the material or I'm already doing what's being suggested. I make SM...

Out of all of my posts, I think this is only the 3rd I've written on my phone. Most of them are to be done at my professional, mid-sized screen, the laptop. But alas, I sat on the couch and now there is a dog on my lap, and you know what happens if I get up... Speaking of said dog, in case you ever find yourself with diarrhea on your area rug, I'm here to let you know that baking soda over it to dry it up works wonders. You just vacuum it up when it is dry, and then spot treat any stain that is left. Don't ask me how I learned that. In other news, I'm sort of entering a different phase of my job search. I am watching the layoffs this year (up 54% over last year!) and seeing my lack of responses, and I think I'm going to start looking at places that are less corporate. I just can't sit around and wait for them to decide to unfreeze hiring at some point in Q1. I'm thinking places like the postal service or Wegmans - places with good benefits and ne...

Some workshops are really helpful, like the one this morning that helped me understand the importance of tracking leads on your website and how to get more customers from those "clicks." Some workshops are less helpful, like the one I'm in right now that is walking through the different templates available for a blog. This presenter also said she thinks everyone should have a blog. I disagree - maybe she hasn't seen the comment sections on Facebook, but I don't think everyone needs a larger platform. In fact, let's go back to the days of character limits on the platform formally known as Twitter. Say fewer words. And yes, I know I'm being wildly hypocritical. I've accepted that in myself. It's day 3 of no walkies for the dogs today, and they are starting to go stir crazy. Tuesday, the weather was miserable, and I had absolutely no desire to go outside in it. Yesterday, I had the cake cold (which is better today, but not gone). Today, too windy. I k...

You know what? Today I'm not teasing my husband. He is smarter than me. No, he isn't writing this. Instead, I'm writing this with a stuffy nose, post-nasal drip, a headache, a sore throat, and regret for eating a child's birthday cake after they spit on it trying to blow out the candles. Every single time, he will watch the child spit all over their friends and cousins and the cake, and he will refrain from having any dessert. And every time, I say "I'll have the piece with the most frosting, please." I can't resist. So despite the fact that I had been fighting a cold since last Tuesday when I saw my nephew on my side of the family, and then hugged everyone at Thanksgiving from every inch of this country with all their germs with their local dialects, I still thought having spit-cake on Monday for a birthday was a good idea. And to my SIL who made the cookie cake - I would eat it again, too. Only mild regrets. Anyway, this cold isn't stopping me. I...

My husband was looking over my shoulder just now as I opened up the space for a new post. That's fine, he can look at the very detailed chart I'm keeping of every job I've applied to, my blog statistics, and the hellscape that is LinkedIn. He sees me start the title - "Day 105" - but his eyes are terrible and he's looking at it from an angle so he goes "Is it really day 103?" "Day 105." "Huh." Then he suggested that I write my posts like I'm a desert island, so he's obviously been very helpful so far with this post. If I had to guess, he's probably surprised at how much time has already passed since I was laid off. Not only do I know the feeling, but he's not great at calendars. Anyway, I'm not here to poke fun at my husband. I'm here to talk about how I've made progress today! I submitted some of my SEAP papers, and applied to a job. I went to a networking event, and complained about LinkedIn on Thread...

My brain is woefully underutilized right now. Some of it is for sure my fault. I've been watching RHOSLC (which is delightful trash), and right now I'm amused by my dog and her squeaky toy. I'm rotting away most of the day with my phone in my hands, trying to remember what I was about to do, and usually forgetting. I've even been struggling with Wordle and Monday crosswords. Who am I? As I think most things about myself have lately, it likely stems from me not having to use my brain that much since July. Don't get me wrong, it gets the occasional workout from driving around a new city, trying a new recipe, or finishing a book, but it isn't a sustained effort. Quick sidenote - the book I just finished was "The Day the World Came to Town," which influences the musical "Come From Away." It's about all of the plans that landed in the tiny town of Gander, Newfoundland on 9/11. There are obviously parts of the book that are sad, but the author ...