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Day 22 - Quick Question

Does anyone else know what is going on?

I'm sure the answer is no.

For context, I'm writing this after the Charlie Kirk... shooting? Murder? Assassination? Execution? Everything is so weird that I don't even know what to call it. I accidentally saw the video on Instagram because for some reason people felt the need to share it there, and I don't know what to do about that information. I can't unsee that.

Anything else I have to say about what's going on in the world these days seems insignificant. It feels like that most days, where every push notification with a "breaking news" alert feels like it might be the one that makes you crash out. But the "what else" that is going on in the world is me being unemployed. My job search. My absolute lack of confidence at this time in my life. Trying to figure out what I want to do next, and any amount of progress I've made towards finding a job. The applications I've submitted. The job fairs I've attended. My former employer being at the job fair.

You know, normal life things.

Today feels dark and heavy. It was a little lighter because I talked to a recruiter today and it feels like maybe there is some hope for me after all. I don't feel out of line for searching for my desired pay range. I don't feel discouraged that my resume reads like that of 4 different people. Actually, I feel stupid because he suggested something that should have been so normal for me to do, and I just wasn't doing it. I guess I have some other work to add to my to-do list tomorrow.

But in the meantime, I'm going to do some other normal things. I didn't eat dinner yet... but maybe I'll skip right to the bowl of ice cream calling my name. I am going to hang out on the couch with my dogs and pretend I haven't seen every episode of Somebody Feed Phil 24 times already. Tomorrow morning, I'll walk the dogs and head to yoga, and tomorrow night I'll go to a job fair I signed up for. Friday night, I think my husband and I are going out to dinner.

Normal life things.

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