Skip to main content

Day 42 - The Algorithm

I have said it before, and I'll say it again - I don't know what I'm doing.

Now, in my defense, I don't think many people really do, but when I look back at my actions over the past 24-48 hours, there is no trend. I had an interview today, applied to a different job, and took a virtual webinar about applying to Civil Service jobs. I am trying to absorb information from an online course about the algorithm. I took a nap. I've walked the dogs three times (and I think they are exhausted from it). I went to a Zumba class and looked like an absolute fool because I don't usually take classes from this instructor. I looked at our budget and told my husband to pick up Moe's on the way home.

All the actions of a very sane person.

Individually, some of them are fine. Collectively, they make absolutely no sense.

Today, I'm mostly feeling anxiety about the impending government shutdown. My husband and I have been pricing out health insurance on the marketplace, and if the subsidies run out at the end of the year, the tax break that we are expecting to get every month could go away, which may make it harder for us to keep that health insurance if I don't get something from employment. The other thing that comes with a shutdown is less money into local economies. I live near the Canadian border, and a lot of government jobs come along with that... but not all of them are "essential." Some people may be furloughed, others may be expected to come in with no pay, but that means those people do not have disposable income for where I interviewed at today. If the government shuts down, does unemployment insurance stop?

I did not always feel anxiety about government shutdowns. Not only did our elected representatives used to actually work for us, but I was younger. More carefree. Had dumber jobs. One of my favorite memories is working at a hotel in Niagara Falls and getting a call to the hotel asking if they turned off the Falls if the government shut down. Not "will the park be closed?" Instead, "will the Falls stop?" What I should have told her is that they only stop the American side. The Canadian Falls would still work.

You know how people say, "there is no such thing as a stupid question?" I disagree.

Actually, just kidding. I forgot for a moment that I want to be employed again. No such thing as a stupid question. No mistakes, just opportunities. You learn something new every day!

Did I convince you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 66 - Revelation

I’m not sure what triggered the conversations. I talked to 3 women last week who had all been diagnosed with ADHD late in life. One of them was my sister, and that’s important, because guess what ADHD has? A strong hereditary link. The other two were girlfriends - very different careers. Children at very different stages of their life. Different ages for their diagnosis. And while the wording was different, the message was the same - probably time for you to get evaluated. Actually, I think when I told my sister “I think I have ADHD,” her reply was something close to “no fucking shit.” You know, lovingly. There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the sound of glass shattering plays whenever someone notices an annoying habit of one of the other characters. I tend to hear it in my head when I feel a lightbulb moment, and this past week has been nothing but glass shattering in my head. Why did I stay up until 1am in high school to type out my chemistry labs when no one else was do...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 120 - Dessert

I'm feeling a little off today. Not just because I'm still dealing with the congestion from whatever this sickness was from over the weekend, but because I'm still unemployed. I think I just don't know what to do next. I had an interview yesterday for a departmental supervisor at a local store, but it didn't go great. I was very out of practice for the interview, which was a surprise to me, and the interview was weird. It was clear that the interviewer had a script that needed to be read and answered in order. None of my jokes landed, and they were funny. I'm funny! Or at least witty. And when I asked some follow-up questions about one of their questions, they didn't have an answer for me. It made me question if I even want this job, and that's the first time that's happened so far this job search. I've also only had 4 interviews (out of 80+ applications), so I guess I haven't had a lot of say in what position is right for me. Today, I was, a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 1 - here I go again

In first or second grade, I found a book in the school library of rhymes and old wives' tales about weather predictions. It was things like "Red sky at night, sailor's delight.” I was hooked. From that point on, I wanted to study the weather. In second grade, I begged my teacher to let me do the weather report for the classroom at least once a week. I was obsessed with a book about how to conserve water. I studied maps, and went to Lake Ontario with Dad to look for waterspouts (I'm embarrassed to say that despite the fact I've spent most of my life on the Great Lakes, I still haven't seen one.) In 4th grade, the dad of one of my classmates worked in the control tower of our airport. This was pre-2001, so he arranged a tour for the class. We got to see some pretty cool things and overheard pilots talking. This drew me in, and by the time I watched a special about the Hartsfield-Jackson airport in Atlanta with my dad, I was so sure I would work at an airport. In ...
Post a Comment
Read more