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Day 112 - The Truth Is

If you asked my parents about me, they would squarely blame all of my faults on the other one.

My mom, Margaret, probably had more of a leg to stand on here. What I suspect was a surprise to most people, I turned out a lot like my dad. There are certainly some benefits to this, like having a great sense of direction and being able to parallel park, but my stubbornness in my 20s was more than Margaret bargained for.

Honestly, her fault. My understanding is that it takes two to tango.

But my quirks are not strictly one-sided here. Sure, I got Margaret's ability to bake, her delightful handwriting, and a love of playing cards, but the list does not stop there.

I also got her lead foot.

Her short fuse.

An unfortunate love of Country music.

And the one that I can't get out of my mind this week - the ability to hold a grudge.

I am an expert-level grudge holder. I learned from the best. I learned from Margaret, who learned from Bernadette, who I'm sure learned from the women before her. A grudge-holding line of women with deep roots and a memory like a steel trap.

I would wager that I am holding the grudges of all the women that have come before me.

And why is that relevant this week?

Because I'm shopping for health insurance for next year.

This grudge. It is deep, and the wrongdoing impacts every aspect of my life.

I was working for a health insurance company until I was laid off with nearly 60 other people. So there is the first impact - my career. At that point, my husband and I were out of health care coverage because I had lost my job. What a gut punch, to have no health insurance because you were fired (sorry, "laid off") from a health insurance company. And because my husband is self-employed, no, we can't get coverage from his employer.

Our monthly premium this year is already an astronomical amount, and it is increasing by 50% next year. This is wildly unsustainable, and also time consuming to figure out what my options are and if I'm even quoting myself correctly in the marketplace. And that is where it wraps up - spending money I don't have on health insurance because I was laid off from health insurance, and spending time shopping for health insurance because all I have is time after being laid off.

I can't seem to forgive them. At least not yet. If I do ever forgive them, you should know, I'll never forget.

I may also pass this one down. I may not have children, but I will find a niece, nephew, or cousin to carry this torch on for me. I want to make sure this proud grudge-holding tradition does not die with me, and I can think of no better example to start with than this one.

Margaret, if you're reading this, just note I wish you'd passed on your ability to sew instead.

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