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Day 139 - Happy New Year

As I sit on the couch with my saltines, thinking about going into the basement for some ginger ale, it's hard to think about 2026 being "my year."

I have a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head right now. I want to take a rapid test to see if I'm positive for the flu (again). Even if I'm not, this sickness has been no joke. I had the audacity to try soup last night, and my stomach was not a fan. I hope I'm not positive so I can keep the job interview I have for tomorrow. I hope I'm feeling better by tomorrow.

I want to clean up my intentions and resolutions, to make them prettier and easier to read. But I also want to clean them up so they make more sense, or so that they're easier to know if I've "accomplished" them. Just saying "try new recipes" doesn't really give me an aim. Is that 1? Or is that 365?

I withdrew myself from the SEAP I was in for starting my own business. I think I'm still going to start my own business, but I want to do it on my timeline. I was actually going to go to the county offices today, but maybe I'll see how Wegmans goes first before committing to anything bigger. I withdrew because the paperwork for the program was too much, and my mentor wasn't super helpful. I was still applying to jobs and attending career fairs, which I need to do now that I've withdrawn from the program, so no change there. And the webinars I was taking are still available to anyone with a small business, so I can take them for me or for my husband's business, so my access to those has not changed. So far, the only benefit I can see from this program is that it pushed me to think about how I can make my own money in such a volatile economy.

I'm still going to write this blog. I'm still going to work on the book I think I want to write... on the book I am writing? Not sure I would call 4 chapters "progress," but that's what I have. I'm still going to study to be a notary public. I'm still going to crochet, paint, sew, read, and workout (you know, once whatever this is is gone).

So why do I have so many thoughts swirling in my head? I think it's because I know what I'm going to do - hobbies, and side hustles, and job applications, and "work search" events - but that in the end, I sort of have no idea what I'm actually doing.

Ya know?


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