At 4:30 this morning, I could no longer take my husband's snoring.
I have to give him a pass on this one. Only this one. He has a cold, and considering I've been sick 3 times in a month, I'm not picking on him for this.
But when he snores when he's healthy?
Anyway, his snoring made it into the dream I was having, and when I woke up and still heard it, I was properly done. I put on a sweater and shorts, found my glasses and phone, and brought the dogs downstairs with me to the couch. Since I'm their person, if I had left them upstairs in the bedroom, they would have been antsy and my husband would have never gotten back to sleep.
I don't know which god I pissed off, but karma decided that at 4:30am, I needed to be fully awake. I bring the dogs downstairs, let them out to pee (I figured I had to pee when I got up, maybe they did, too), and then I had to fight my oldest dog to come back in the house. Her 3% husky was standing in the backyard, staring at me and eating snow. When she finally came back inside, it turns out that this dumb little canine had eaten too much snow and vomited. As luck would have it, she got it on the blanket on the couch, and then it slid off onto the area rug.
Ugh. Ok. Move the dog. Find the poop bags to repurpose them. Clean it up. Throw the blanket into the washer, I'll come back to it. Put baking soda on the carpet. Put stain and odor remover on the wet spon on the couch. Wonder how this is an odor remover when its smell is honestly overwhelming. Go to start the washer. Realize I need the new thing of laundry detergent. Set it on the dryer. Start the washer.
It is now almost 5am, and wouldn't you know it. I'm wide awake, now. I scroll my phone and toss and turn a little bit, and around 6am I finally doze off a little. I'm awake again by 7am, scroll a little on my phone again, and just before 8am, I go back to our laundry room to open the doggy door. I'm going to let them out, switch the washer to the dryer, and then feed them. Maybe I can take a little nap again after that.
When I get to the laundry room, all the wind is taken out of my sails. The floor is shiny. Why is it shiny? We've had a recent string of bad pumps or something, and occasionally the laundry room floods. Well that sucks, but we have a drain in the middle of the floor, it's not so bad.
Except, it is so bad. I notice my brand new giant-sized laundry detergent is sitting in the middle of whatever this is. Oh, this is laundry detergent. Fuck. This changes things.
I pick up the now mostly empty jug of laundry detergent, set it... somewhere, and then grab every dog towel we have in the laundry room and start trying to soak up the detergent. I get some of it to go down the drain, but most of it is on the towels. One by one, into the washer they go. Then I grab my mop for whatever won't come up with towels.
By the way, if you're the person who created the Libman Tornado Mop, you're terrible. The mop head does not go back on the way it comes off. At 8:20am, I was sweating my ass off fighting with a mop. I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME.
But whatever. It is all finally clean, so I toss the mop head into a little garment bag, put it in the washer with the towels, and start another load.
I have pop-tarts and cheetos for breakfast, because why not?
But on my way to my SIL's house to hang out with her and the kids today, I stop for a little Tim Hortons treat. I get a breakfast sandwich and an iced capp. Ok, things are turning around!
Yes? No.
When I get to her house, we're 98% ready to go. She finishes getting them ready, and we head to the van. I put my iced capp on the front dashboard while children vehemently deny my assistance. At this point in my day, you know where this is going, you just don't know how it happens, right?
If you guessed "child kicked it," it's good odds, but wrong. My SIL locked her keys in her house. I hand her my set since I have a key since I take the kids to and from school right now. On my keychain, her key is a sugar skull, and now all the kids want to see it. As I turn around to show them my keys, either me or something I was holding knocked the iced capp off the dashboard and onto the floor of her van. And on my shoes, which is cool. Iced, even.
Ughhhhh.
The next 2.5 hours are relatively neutral. I mean, there were child meltdowns, but I also saw a baby kangaroo, so call it a wash.
When I get home from hanging out with them, and then a run to the grocery store to get tissues with lotion for my sick husband, I get home where the towels are finally washed enough to go in the dryer. Well, I load them and the mop head into the dryer, which was a dumb thing to do?
You may be asking why it was a dumb thing to do. It was a dumb thing to do because the last time I put the mop head in the dryer, it is so heavy that it knocked the dryer drum off the belt. So obviously that also happened today.
I fixed it pretty quickly last time. I did not today. Why would I? So instead, I gave up. I am now upstairs, laying on my bed under a blanket and with no bra on.
I might not go back downstairs.
Comments
Post a Comment