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Day 11 - summer

I am not made for the summer. I mean, sure, I love a day in the sun, drink in my hand and toes in the water, like anyone else, but long term?

I’m sweating just thinking about it.

You probably knew this, though, by the everything about me. The translucent skin, extensive hoodie collection, and living in some of the snowiest cities in the country should have tipped you off, but it doesn’t end there.

I don’t do summer foods. I want a casserole and soup and cheeses and starches, like my Irish ancestors intended. Instead, the summer presents me with sub trays filled with raw onions and wet tomatoes to put on sandwiches with deli meat I don’t want and condiments I won’t eat. I won’t touch mayonnaise, but oh, you suddenly think it’s appetizing in a potato salad? And don’t come at me with your suggestions of a nice light salad. You just heard my opinions on the onions and tomatoes, and I have only come to appreciate certain salad dressings in the past few years. The best part of a salad is the croutons.

Sure, I will eat burgers and hot dogs and sausages from the grill, but in this heat? Keep the veggies and mustard to yourself, thank you.

Honestly, the only good thing about the summer is that more people are willing to go get ice cream with me. If I add peanuts and a cherry to my sundae, can I pretend that was a whole meal?

Asking for a friend.

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