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What day is it? And in what month?

 Here’s the thing: I am so tired.

It’s possible I’ve never been this tired before in my whole life. I know it’s the most sore my feet have ever been.

And I know tired. A staff meeting until 11pm and a 3 am fire alarm only to wake up for a 9am meeting when I was a hall director. A meteorology student with a double minor and working as an RA, going to bed at 3am to wake up at 7am and get to calculus on time. Poppy having worms when we got her and not sleeping through the night because she had to go out.

So for my midlife crisis, I have decided to top them all. A full-time gig at a local chocolate shop, lifting heavy boxes and standing on my feet for 8 hours a day, followed 3 days a week by a baking lab, where I’m also on my feet. An 8 hour day with that 5 hour lab, extending to 6 hours next month when our labs get harder and more complex.

But also, the bread needs time to proof, so I imagine equally delicious.

I haven’t mentioned my 4 online classes yet with a mountain of reading I haven’t looked at yet this week. Plus, I picked up a second gig serving weddings. Do I have any experience hosting or serving or waitressing? No. Just a friend who thought I might like it and be good at it. (She was right.)

Am I complaining about all of this? No, actually. Is it hard? Yes. I’m still adjusting to a job that requires me to be fully functional before sunrise plus a class that means I’m barely home long enough at night to watch some TV with my husband before I’m passing out again.

Wait, what was I saying? Oh right, I love it.

What hit me today was that I finally feel like I’m on the right path. Well, what actually hit me was a headache, but it was the first headache I’ve had in a while, so I noticed it. And that’s when I realized I didn’t get that back-to-school cold I was expecting. I carried a tray with roughly 486 salads on it with no hesitation and not a drop of dressing spilled. I feel almost calm instead of wildly frantic like I should be.

I can’t express enough how dirty the house is. There are dishes and clothes everywhere. My diet, unsurprisingly, consists largely of sugary treats, which means I’m desperately looking forward to the savory and filling quiche I’m making in class next week. My car has accumulated several sweaters and all of my travel mugs. I could use someone to meal plan for me. And grocery shop. And meal prep. And pack my lunch. And my dinner.

But I can’t recommend enough the feeling you have in your body when you finally are doing what feels right, chasing the path you’ve always said “when money isn’t an option.” And working jobs you like instead of the ones moving you up the corporate ladder. Because while there is exhaustion and no free time, there is also no stress.

Whew. What a feeling.

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